What Happens When Mommy Takes The Day Off

Summer colds are the worst. There’s nothing quite like being hot…and sick…and stuck in the house. Add to that being hot, sick and stuck in the house with three little boys who aren’t sick, and it’s a recipe for misery and a whole lot of yelling.

I’ve been home sick all this week with a cold that has left me out of commission and quite frankly, totally loopy. I haven’t been able to work (being loopy and a writer don’t mix); I haven even been able to answer emails until today. I’ve sat and slept on the sofa in our family room since late Monday.

Within ear shot over these last couple of days have been my boys—ages 8, 5 and 3—playing in our playroom. I’ve listened to them negotiate toys and which video games to play and which movies to watch. I’ve heard them strike up alliances and my oldest step up to the plate to be the words of wisdom while I sit and suffer, feeling as though my sinuses may break through the front of my face at any moment.

It true what they say about moms not getting a day off. Over the course of the last 48 hours or so, there have been countless times when a healthier me would have bounded into the playroom and demanded order, doled out timeouts or taken it upon myself to negotiate who should get to play with the Batman castle and who is stuck with the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. There has been crying…more of it than I would like to admit. There has also been a bit of hitting and even some yelling. It happens. In short, there have been times that perhaps would have made the kids from Lord of the Flies feel uncomfortable.

Things were heated in the playroom a few minutes ago, but my oldest son stepped up to the plate, as he has done countless times over the last 48 hours, and instilled a bit of peace. The room is quiet and everyone is playing and watching a movie. There are giggles and conversations going on. They are helping each other build forts as they just hang out and enjoy the last few days of summer break. And while I hate having this evil cold, I love that taking a step back has made them have to get along without my hand guiding them to do what is right. I love that my oldest son has emerged as the leader of his brothers and the voice of reason. I love that my youngest son is having to (quickly) comprehend the nuances of negotiation and standing up for himself. I love that my middle son is having to be independent of my constant care and reassurance.

As mothers, it’s easy to smother our kids. In fact, it’s often easier to be a buffer when it comes to the situations that come up between siblings than to hear them whine, complain and work it out. But if the last 48 hours have taught me anything besides what I’ve learned while catching up on my DVR, I’ve learned that I really don’t give my kids enough credit when it comes to getting along. As a mom, it’s ok for me to step back and give my kids the room they need to grow and fight their own battles, create their own unique roles in their trio, and learn how to negotiate what’s important. I think by taking a step back, my boys will be a stronger unit in the end, and perhaps this mama may get well enough to enjoy the last weekend before school starts.

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