Decent, I say.
To the left is a photo of me at 2 years (maybe 3) trying to get something on the counter. Knowing myself as well as I do, I’d guess it was a cookie or something with chocolate. It might have just been any kind of food. I like food.
My mother, coming into the kitchen upon hearing my cries for help, laughed. She left me there to get her camera and make sure it had film. (I don’t remember this, those are her words)
She snapped the picture and took me down. She was awesome indeed.
She can say this to me, because I think she’s great. We may differ vastly on many things, including parenting styles, but she’s raising 4 boys, three of them teenagers or close to it and I admire how she’s handled many situations.
She went on to explain how much tattling she was noticing in my children. Tattling to me, in particular.
I couldn’t disagree, I’d have been a liar if I did.
Tattling is annoying. It’s frustrating and it’s something I’ve struggled with in our home, but she was spot on.
Maybe you already know about this, but three kids in, I had not heard of it.
Basically, she said, that when her kids were little, she steered them to this. If they were tattling, she’d ask if they had tried two things on this wheel, and if they had, she’d help. But, if they hadn’t, they need to go back to the situation and try again.
“Kelso the frog teaches students how to solve “small” problems on their own. “Small” problems include conflicts that cause “small” feelings of annoyance, embarrassment, boredom, etc. “BIG problems” always need to be taken to an adult. These are situations that are scary, dangerous, illegal, etc.”
I think, as decent of a problem solver as I am, I’m doing a terrible job of teaching my own kids to do so….by always doing it for them.
I know this isn’t always the case. They are great at figuring many things out and I’m always proud when they do, like Legos, or puzzles or how to get a ball out of the rose bush, or a straw out of the cupboard when they can’t reach it. But when it comes to dealing with other people, namely siblings, I’m generally taking full control of situations due to how much it’s annoying me at the time. I’m doing a complete disservice to my kids by jumping in or reprimanding the kid who’s making the most noise every time it comes up.
“K.C.’s Wheel is for the preteens (grades 4-5) that may be a little too mature for Kelso’s Choice Wheel. There are “minor problems” that cause minor feelings of annoyance, embarrassment, boredom, etc. There are also “SERIOUS problems” that need to be taken to an adult. These are situations that are scary, dangerous, illegal, etc. There are eight choices to solve “minor problems.” The choice “share and take turns” has been removed since, typically, at grades 4-5 this skill has been developed. There are “verbal choices” and “nonverbal choices” to solve “minor problems”
So, whether or not the kids are fighting over a turn, trying to figure out a floor puzzle, math homework, reaching for a straw or hanging from their underpants on a drawer handle, I’m committed to making sure they can attempt to figure the little things out before coming to me.
I’d love to know… how do you handle tattling in your home?