5 Ways We Keep Romance Alive In Our Marriage

I’m happy to partnering with Forever My Girl, a very sweet, uplifting romantic film about second chances., hitting theaters this Friday, January 19th. We received a date night to help put a little romance in our week.

Is it ever too late to court your spouse?
I don’t think so. I think the minute we stop doing that with each other, trouble can set in.

Talk about courtship. My husband literally asked me out for 5 months before I agreed. And it took him the courage to brave rejection with a surprise kiss to get my attention. We worked together at a news station in Toledo, Ohio and were on a team of people who were getting the nightly news out to the area. And frankly, I didn’t want to date anyone I worked with.

He was persistent, to say the very least. He flirted. He left me notes. He told me how beautiful I looked that day. I knew he couldn’t take his eyes off me, and he made it very clear. And on the evening I finally agreed to go on one date with this man, he told me he wanted to marry me.

And that, he did.

Today, we’re married 14 1/2 years with three kids and living in Southern California, thousands of miles away from family.

My wedding ring is beautiful. But when I said yes to marriage nearly 15 years ago, I couldn’t comprehend what putting this ring on my finger would come to mean.

I said yes to loving through sickness and health, good times and bad, richer or poorer.

And those vows haven’t been more true. This commitment we made to each other, at times, seemed it might be easier to give up, than continue the exhausting fight.

Lack of forgiveness, lack of compassion, misunderstanding, poor communication. Death in our families, stress in our work, raising children together and illness. Sometimes it all seems absolutely impossible. If it weren’t for my personal faith, I’m not sure I’d be here. Neither would he.

Marriage…relationships…they aren’t for the faint of heart, people.

This ring was shiny and sparkly the day he asked me to do this journey together. Our hands were less wrinkled. Our lives were less complicated.

But I’m learning more about myself every day. I’m also learning more about him. We change, don’t we? I’m learning how to be an adult, finally. I’m learning how to be a better wife and friend. Our marriage is probably stronger today, than it ever has been…because we’re holding fast to that commitment.

Today, well…this ring is not so shiny and sparkly. It’s got some nicks and bruises, but it’s mine. It’s my reminder of my commitment through all those really hard times that no one could predict would come.

My dirty, dented wedding ring is more beautiful today than it was 15 years ago. It means more today than it did then.

And I’m certain it will hold true to all of this in another 15 years.

But not without romance.

I love wearing his favorite colors.

And romance looks quite different for every relationship.
Here are my favorite 5 ways to keep romance alive….and they have nothing to do with sex.

5. Intimacy – To me, this is so, so important and I’m not talking about the act of intercourse. I’m talking about simply talking. Being honest with each other and exposing thoughts and feelings. Just sharing about your day and being able to vent openly and safely. When you can trust your partner, intimacy will come naturally.

4. Shake up the routine – There is often nothing more romantic than doing something out of the ordinary, something new, challenging, fun or out of character for both of you. These kinds of activities help make things new. And let’s be honest…after many years together, new things are always exciting. You might just see your husband or wife in a different light.

3. Do the dishes – I mean do the dishes. I’m just going to be honest….there might not be a more romantic thing in my book, than my husband taking care of those dishes in the sink, after he had already worked a full day outside the house. This goes both ways. The act of helping out your wife or husband with everyday tasks, is simply kind and….romantic. I just love it.

2. Physical Touch – Hugs, kisses, cuddling, back rubs…need I say more? Touch is powerful. What a love language! Safe and loving physical contact without the expectation of sex is such strong way to stay romantic and remain close to your spouse.

1. Forgiveness and Compassion – Oh, man. How do I even begin with this one. If we can continue to forgive one another and have appreciation and compassion for who your spouse is… well, I think many marriages would be saved. I can’t change my husband. He is who he is. I am who I am. There are many things we don’t have similar likes in…movies, music, tv shows, food, vacation ideas, etc. We don’t see some current events eye to eye.. but as I’m getting older, and might I say, mature… I can appreciate what he likes and doesn’t and appreciate that about him, rather than get mad over it.

When we can forgive, when we can understand each other more…we can build more intimacy. And well, if you see my #5…. it will all work out.

And while you’re at it…go out on a date. This Friday, a super sweet movie about second chances opens in Theaters.

Forever My Girl tells the story of music super-star Liam Page (Alex Roe) who left his bride, Josie (Jessica Rothe), at the altar choosing fame and fortune instead. However, Liam never got over Josie, his one true love, nor did he ever forget his Southern roots in the small community where he was born and raised. When he unexpectedly returns to his hometown for the funeral of his high school best friend, Liam is suddenly faced with the consequences of all that he left behind. Forever My Girl is an uplifting romantic film about second chances. It releases in theaters on January 19.